Waiting on the World to Change
by Hikari no Sadame
Summary: He wishes things had gone differently. He wishes he could change the past- he wishes he could change the world.


**Waiting on the World to Change**

* * *

_It's not that we don't care,__  
We just know that the fight ain't fair__  
So we keep on waiting__  
Waiting on the world to change_

* * *

She wasn't passive, per se, but she wasn't quite active either. She had a title- an honor, and it was her duty to uphold it. Whether it was to wipe out the whole world or wipe out her own family, her king's commands were absolute. Her loyalty to her nation, her loyalty to _Faust_, was unwavering. She was Royal Army Captain Erza Knightwalker of the 2nd Magic War Division. This was her obligation.

She didn't agree with Faust's plan to steal magic from an alternate universe for the benefit of Edolas, nor did she take a liking toward that giant dragon-thing, but her say didn't really matter. It didn't even matter to herself. She was a soldier and her actions were controlled by her ruler. It was as simple as that. There was no morally "wrong" or "right". Rather, her orders were always "right" and everything else that diverged from them, "wrong".

She was a mindless killer. She didn't think about what she should or should not do, but simply just "did". She was a pawn in the whole scheme of things, and she was absolutely fine with that- or at least, that's what she told herself. She never really considered if the things she was doing, the lives she was ending, were correct or not. But she didn't need to because her king's mandates were law. And all she had to do was follow.

Somewhere along the line she probably noticed Faust was "wrong". She probably realized he was a crazed psychotic old man that was going to drag Edolas into absolute chaos. But it wasn't her role to speak out and call for change. It wasn't her place to do so. And deep down, she hoped for change. She hoped for some person who could bring forth a new, better age to her nation.

_Her world was truly fucked up, but who was she to fix it? _

In the midst of complete mayhem, her hope had sprung to life. The change she had been hoping for appeared right before her eyes in a sketchy bandana mask and awkwardly loose pantaloons. In all honesty, she imagined a stronger, manlier, and tougher guy, but she later finds out that Jellal is strong, manly, and tough in his own ways.

She becomes Royal Army Captain Erza Knightwalker of whatever-poor-and-unfortunate-division-she-wishes- to-torture, and it's all in good fun. Her life, initially monotonous and boring, filled with unconscious murders and ambiguity, transforms into a myriad of different hues filled with conscious decisions, distinct feelings, and amusing arguments with her king when she gets bored. For once, she had waited for something to change, and for once, it actually occurred. He recreated her world into one full of interesting everyday experiences and most importantly, he made her a place where she could voice her thoughts- however contrary to his they were.

_And she appreciates it._

* * *

"Captain?"

She squinted her eyes at the piercing sunlight, though apparently it wasn't the only thing piercing her. Feeling a sharp pain emanating from her side, she flinched as she moved to look at the person calling her.

"Captain Knightwalker!"

"Jellal…"

"God, Erza, stop."

She chuckled softly, each breath coming out with difficulty. "Stop what?"

Jellal anxiously checked for her pulse, fingers faintly recoiling at her already cold skin and face stricken with absolute terror.

"That look on your face! Stop it." He murmured, voice starting to crack, mirroring the turmoil within him.

"Don't do this. You're going to live…" He wrenched the blood stained cloth covering her wound and promptly ripped a piece of his cloak off, replacing the pressure.

"…I promise", the last part was mumbled under his breath, sounding unconvincing to even himself.

"It's over, your highness. Don't make promises you can't keep." It took every last bit of energy to pull her lips into a gentle smile, but she managed to make it seem effortless.

"I- Erza-"

She blindly grasped for his hand, holding it tightly in her own. "You…You've done so-", her sentence was cut off by a cough of blood as Jellal insisted she stop talking but she continued on.

"You've done so much for me. You were the change I needed, the change that Edolas needed, and I just- thank you for everything. Thank you for bringing me into my own life, and wow this sounds so cheesy but, I can never repay the debt I owe you. I-" she stopped as she felt his trembling hand firmly grip hers.

"I beg of you, Erza, love, please stop. Stop looking like this is the last time you'll see me, stop talking like this is the last thing you'll say. I know you. You're strong, far stronger than I am. This- this damn wound isn't going to separate you from me! Don't act like this is the end, because it's not. We're…", his words became incoherent to her as his sobs began to turn into croaks and her vision started to blur.

"I…I'm sorry" was all she could manage to whisper as her eyes fluttered shut and his own overflew with tears.

* * *

He cursed the world for taking her away, for taking away the one person he cared about in this goddamn universe. But above all, he cursed the world for not taking him with her.

Along with her, his world had stopped. Days went by and months flashed past him in an instant. For him, time had stopped when hers had stopped. He didn't find a purpose in living on, but he continued to do so simply because she would have wished it. She would have wanted him to move on and carry on with his life, to carry on with his duty as the King of Edolas. But what was the King of Edolas to him when his queen wasn't by his side, opposing everything that he did?

_Why was he alive and she not?_

He didn't go to her funeral. He didn't say goodbye because that would mean accepting the cruel fate the harsh world had given him, and he refused to do so.

He wishes things had gone differently; he wishes he had died in her place. He wishes he could change the past- _he wishes he could change the world._

Erza had said he was the change in her world, but that meant nothing if he couldn't change the current world he resided in.

But he couldn't.

The world was unfair and it had taken away his love along with his motivation to live.

She was gone- lost forever. And her loss left him with an empty, hollow, physical body. He was now an amorphous blob- the mindless, soulless, heartless remains of what used to contain a determined leader. The world crushed him into a bunch of fragmented pieces, scattered about all the unforgettable memories he shared with her.

He was gone- lost forever because he couldn't change the bitter world they lived in.

* * *

_**A/N: tempting edit of the last sentence-**_

"_**He was gone- lost forever because he couldn't change the bitter world they lived in; because the world was a fucking asshole."**_

_**I've got to stop trying to write angst lol. **_

_**THIS IS A BIRTHDAY PRESENT FOR WOLFY BECAUSE SHE'S GREAT AND DESERVES IT SO GO SAY HI OR READ HER FICS OR SOMETHING OKAY.**_

_**Title is a John Mayer song because she loves John Mayer. Itsk, we all hate the world.**_

_**Hope you liked it~ (PS review people pls)**_


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